The Football

football, cricket, darts, athletics - the lot
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humblebee
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Re: The Football

Post by humblebee » Thu Apr 23, 2015 2:51 pm

Well done FCUM on promotion to the Conference North. Are you celebrating, Michael? I expect you to be regularly beating GTFC within 18 months.

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Michael Quentin
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Re: The Football

Post by Michael Quentin » Sun Apr 26, 2015 4:25 pm

humblebee wrote:Well done FCUM on promotion to the Conference North. Are you celebrating, Michael? I expect you to be regularly beating GTFC within 18 months.
Thanks. The last few games were torture. Lots of new grounds to visit next season, as well as some old faces.

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Re: The Football

Post by humblebee » Fri May 01, 2015 10:10 am

Enjoying this video from our play-off first leg last night. Enjoying it because it doesn't show Eastleigh's goal and our hilariously bad defending which gave them it.

Seriously, these two from Nathan Arnold are lush. Give it a watch if you get a sec.



[edit: finally realised I'd posted a Taylor Swift video by mistake. LOL]
Last edited by humblebee on Thu May 21, 2015 4:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: The Football

Post by a layer of chips » Fri May 01, 2015 10:14 am

humblebee wrote:Enjoying this video from our play-off first leg last night. Enjoying it because it doesn't show Eastleigh's goal and our hilariously bad defending which gave them it.

Seriously, these two from Nathan Arnold are lush. Give it a watch if you get a sec.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM
OUTED ON THE MANLY FOOTBALL THREAD.

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Re: The Football

Post by humblebee » Mon May 04, 2015 11:14 am

WEMBERLEEEEEY, WEMBERLEEEEEEEY

Sorry, still a bit emotional

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Re: The Football

Post by richpassivity » Tue May 05, 2015 11:51 am

humblebee wrote:WEMBERLEEEEEY, WEMBERLEEEEEEEY

Sorry, still a bit emotional
Congratulations to Grimsby. Disappointed for my hometown team but definitely well-deserved.
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Re: The Football

Post by humblebee » Wed May 06, 2015 2:27 pm

richpassivity wrote:Congratulations to Grimsby. Disappointed for my hometown team but definitely well-deserved.
Cheers. Was impressed by the Eastleigh fans. Great support for their team and generosity towards ours. Can't say I care much for the players and manager but support like that deserves rewards.

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Re: The Football

Post by leon » Mon Jul 06, 2015 12:18 pm

So we've sold nearly 18000 season tickets. In Division Three. 18,000 (EIGHTEEN THOUSAND).

An adult season ticket cost £149, U 16s/OAPs £99 and U 11s are free (max two per adult).

Apparently some fans of other clubs are mocking it - you've only sold them cos they're cheap/free etc. I think those people are spectacularly missing the point and ought rather to consider why their clubs charge so much. Preston, Reading and Sunderland fans will probably vouch for how loud VP is these days, this season we'll have close to 20k every league home game. Also, have a look at the crowd at Valley Parade next time we're on your telly box, and compare how many young kids you can see to how many you see at Premier League grounds on Match of The Day. As Jacko said, the children ARE our future.
"and Valley Parade is showing all its finery"

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Re: The Football

Post by humblebee » Mon Jul 06, 2015 12:39 pm

leon wrote:So we've sold nearly 18000 season tickets. In Division Three. 18,000 (EIGHTEEN THOUSAND).

An adult season ticket cost £149, U 16s/OAPs £99 and U 11s are free (max two per adult).

Apparently some fans of other clubs are mocking it - you've only sold them cos they're cheap/free etc. I think those people are spectacularly missing the point and ought rather to consider why their clubs charge so much. Preston, Reading and Sunderland fans will probably vouch for how loud VP is these days, this season we'll have close to 20k every league home game. Also, have a look at the crowd at Valley Parade next time we're on your telly box, and compare how many young kids you can see to how many you see at Premier League grounds on Match of The Day. As Jacko said, the children ARE our future.
And as Graham Taylor didn't say, can we not mock it?

Neh, that's brilliant. If the club's happy that the books can still be balanced then fair play - much better to get a full ground and the support of future fans. Ace!

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Re: The Football

Post by humblebee » Tue Aug 04, 2015 2:30 pm

Right, the When Saturday Comes season preview is out, so it's time for the annual Anorak cover version. Please answer the following questions about your club, everyone. Thanks.

How will you do in 2015-16?

Which teams did you like and dislike most last season?

What was the best moment of last season?

What was the worst moment of last season?

Who would be the most appropriate sponsor for your club? (intention: COMEDIC)

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Re: The Football

Post by indiansummer » Tue Aug 04, 2015 3:34 pm

EVERTON

How will you do in 2015-16?

Predictably, it depends on (ugh) the transfer window. If we manage to sign someone who can manage the tricky task of 'passing the ball forwards, and quickly' alongside someone else who's up to the demands of 'running dead fast' and/or 'putting the ball in the net' then we'll be sound. The Europa League and all its attendant frustrations will beckon.

If not, then we can look forward to another year of passing it ponderously but cheerily around our own half, then looking surprised when opponents from Gradel to Falcao suddenly nick the ball and waltz through acres of space to slot past a stranded Tim Howard. We will hover perilously around the bottom half before the season's umpteenth 'rallying cry' on the back pages of the Liverpool Echo sees us scrape enough points to finish somewhere boringly but mercifully mid-table.

Then next season we'll lose John Stones for oodles of cash and spunk the lot on inadequate replacements while the fanbase turns on itself - and if Vice is to be believed, then we'll go on to win nothing whatsoever over the next thousand years.

Still, good excuse for a pint, isn't it

Which teams did you like and dislike most last season?

Like - to use their full name, Tim Sherwood's Aston Villa. I sort of like Tim Sherwood's Aston Villa's Tim Sherwood, even though he's a gilet-wearing bellend. Another verse of Kumbaya from their away supporters, however, and i'll be campaigning in favour of nuclear war on the west midlands.

Dislike - Arsenal, actually. From the odious (but admittedly talented) Wilshere's snidey gobshitery to Wenger exploding and appealing for red cards every time someone breathes near Ramsey, they just do my head in. It's all cancelled out by Gunnersaurus, however: hero to millions. I love that dinosaur.

What was the best moment of last season?

Signing Lukaku. Which was in pre-season, of course. FFS

What was the worst moment of last season?

Ivanovic putting Chelsea 0-2 up in the third minute of our first home game of the season? Debutant midfielder Besic passing the ball straight to Costa for them to finish 3-6 winners in the same game? The indignity of shipping a goal to Falcao in what was otherwise a disastrous season for him? Losing 5-2 to Dynamo Kiev? The continued existence of Antolin Alcaraz?

Actually, I think it was the resurfacing of the Blue Union and the 'Kenwright out' brigade, who - funnily enough - were quiet when we did well the season before. Entitled fan groups mistaking leftist union jargon for what are essentially their limited rights as consumers - ugh. Just go the game and the pub afterwards; it's not worth taking to the streets over.

Who would be the most appropriate sponsor for your club?

Is there a viagra brand that's particularly ineffective? Them, anyway.
halo my middle, a hula hoop hug

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Re: The Football

Post by tompony » Tue Aug 04, 2015 3:49 pm

SOUTHAMPTON

How will you do in 2015-16?
We should do alright! The new signings seem to have filled the required holes. Quite excited by a European adventure, would happily take a less successful league season (within reason) if we have a proper go at the Europa League. And not just because it's on BT Sport and I can actually watch it, either! But I'll admit that is a bonus.

Which teams did you like and dislike most last season?
Swansea have felt like the other Premier League team that are "doing it right" for a while now. Always happy to see them do well. Delighted to see Liverpool and Tottenham have mediocre seasons, although they both did finish above us in the table, frustratingly.

What was the best moment of last season?
Hovering in the Champions League places for the first half of the season was thrilling, especially after losing so many players last summer. Also, winning eight nil against Sunderland. Eight nil!

What was the worst moment of last season?
Flopping out of the cups AGAIN. I know it's all about balance, but surely that's the one real chance of winning a trophy for a mid-level Premier League team?

Who would be the most appropriate sponsor for your club?
Liverpool FC

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Re: The Football

Post by indiansummer » Tue Aug 04, 2015 3:51 pm

tompony wrote:Who would be the most appropriate sponsor for your club?
Liverpool FC
CHUCKLE!
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Re: The Football

Post by Wheatabeat » Tue Aug 04, 2015 5:05 pm

OLDHAM ATHLETIC

How will you do in 2015-16?
A prolonged struggle as a new, inexperienced, yet glittering-with-qualifications manager gets to grips with his new team. We'll perhaps just come out of it with an uneasy smile either because a) the manager will get sacked after 6 matches or b) the manager will get off to a flier. In other words; fuck knows.

Which teams did you like and dislike most last season?
Liked - Bradford City. Two blood-n-thunder battle o'th roseses. Honours shared. Mutual respect and all that. And they were EVERYONE'S favourite team from January until March, weren't they?
Disliked - Barnsley. They did that twerking thing to our manager, who like the disloyal twats of today generally are jumped ship at the first opportunity at the promise of lots of cash to spend at a disputable 'bigger club'. Laughed my tits off the other day when I heard that he'd been having spats with the owner after his budget was restricted or something. Anyway, what hurt me the most was how he was hawking himself about to any fucker when he should have been behind out promotion campaign given we were fucking fifth when he jumped ship. Gah. AND he was behind the sign Ched Evans campaign. Sorry, went off on when then, didn't I?

What was the best moment of last season?
Beating 2nd-placed Swindon Town at home in a superb display of wham-bam football mixed with gritty bodies-on-the-line Alamo as Swindon layed seige. It was awesome. We went fifth. We dreamt...

What was the worst moment of last season?
... and then we followed it up by losing at Yoevil or somewhere. Then it all fell to shit. And then that fucking dwarf Lee Johnson slithered off to Barnsley. Then it really fell to shit.

Who would be the most appropriate sponsor for your club? (intention: COMEDIC)
ARTIFICAL GRASS DIRECT. Because it's always greener somewhere else.
Fuck your tea room.

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Re: The Football

Post by leon » Tue Aug 11, 2015 3:25 pm

How will you do in 2015-16?
I'm quietly confident of a play off place this year. Don't think we're likely to trouble the automatic spots though. I wasn't sad to see any of the released players go, although Andrew Davies will be missed the most (when fit). The new signings look like an interesting bunch, all with something to prove, with Josh Morris looking the most exciting.

Which teams did you like and dislike most last season?

Liked - had to admire Bristol City and the way they tore us apart at the end of the season. Worthy champions.

Disliked - Lots of teams that came to Valley Parade for a draw, nicked a goal then time wasted the rest of the game away (too many to mention). But mostly Swindon (this is in no way related to their 4-1 humping of us on Saturday btw). They fouled, they pulled, they dived, they moaned and squealed at the ref, they feigned injury, they kicked the ball away, they scored, they did that ridiculous 10 player corner flag celebration that takes 7 minutes and seems de rigeur with away teams these days, and they got our players sent off. Horrible, horrible lot.

What was the best moment of last season?
Erm, only one? Ok, Chelsea was ace but I was only listening on the radio. Beating Leeds was brilliant (especially the way they'd played the 'we're not arsed about Bradford' card but then went batshit mental when the scored then kicked off with the stewards and tried to invade the pitch when we then scored two goals in three minutes. Dirty, dirty Leeds). But I only saw that on telly. Best moment I was actually there for was the Sunderland and Reading games, purely for the atmosphere. This past couple of seasons the VP crowd has become far more positive and proactive, and that bore fruit in those games where we made a phenomenal amount of noise, at the Sunderland game almost for the whole 90 minutes. Made me proud it did.


What was the worst moment of last season?
The anticlimax of the Reading replay. It was one of those where you know within 5 minutes that its not going to happen, that the ride is over. The players looked knackered and never did themselves justice, after finally getting shown live on BBC for the first ever time.

Who would be the most appropriate sponsor for your club?
Probably Vim - old fashioned but quite effective in the right circumstances.
"and Valley Parade is showing all its finery"

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Re: The Football

Post by humblebee » Tue Aug 11, 2015 3:52 pm

Speaking of Bristol City... SIX MILLION QUID? WHAT?

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Re: The Football

Post by leon » Tue Aug 11, 2015 4:04 pm

humblebee wrote:Speaking of Bristol City... SIX MILLION QUID? WHAT?
It always saddens me to see a club on the rise then realise its only cos they've got a rich sugar daddy. Its always gonna be like this now isn't it?
"and Valley Parade is showing all its finery"

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Re: The Football

Post by humblebee » Tue Aug 11, 2015 4:26 pm

leon wrote:It always saddens me to see a club on the rise then realise its only cos they've got a rich sugar daddy. Its always gonna be like this now isn't it?
Oh, didn't realise. Yes, it is... well, until the revolution, at least.

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Re: The Football

Post by a layer of chips » Tue Aug 11, 2015 4:56 pm

I'll try and do ours, Pete.

How will you do in 2015-16?
We should piss the league. Seriously. But we won't. I reckon Hurst will get all flustered again when we're flying and start changing a settled team. Anywhere between 2nd and 5th. I reckon Eastleigh will win the league - and how depressing is that?

Which teams did you like and dislike most last season?
Didn't like Eastleigh, but it's hard to really hate anyone down here. It's like trying to start a fight in the dole office.

I've got an unreasonable hatred of Gateshead, for some reason, but that's mainly because of their horrific ground. I've got a soft spot for Halifax because of what The Shay used to be like.

What was the best moment of last season?
The play-off final. Even though we lost it was a genuinely ace day out with good-natured fans on both sides, despite the horrific cast concrete, piped music hellhole that is Wembley where you feel you're batting away double glazing salespeople every ten yards. We were the better team, all the players actually TRIED HARD, and I got gloriously pissed. It also, in a way, kicked off Operation Promotion, which has taken the heat off Fenty's wallet and allowed us to actually pay for a player in the close season.

What was the worst moment of last season?
The play off final. Losing on pennos.

Who would be the most appropriate sponsor for your club?
The Drunk Bakers from Viz

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humblebee
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Re: The Football

Post by humblebee » Wed Aug 12, 2015 9:28 am

Thanks Sam - I was hoping you would!

Got over to Cleethorpes last night. 4-1. Barrow were never in it. Town looked real class, without really needing to go above second or third gear; there was a real air of supremacy about them. This side could do great things. Omar Bogle has got so much potential. A few months training full-time and who knows.

Amazed to see Shaun Pearson dropped, but if you have three top-notch centre-backs, summat's got to give. I guess it doesn't hurt to show that nobody's place is guaranteed.

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