I know this thread is about music but I think it's time we all raised a solemn and respectful glass of cockney wine to 30 years of repeats of that great british comedy institution 'pony in my pocket'- derek jason's peerless and persistant portrayal of derek tit, the cheeky iraciscible cockney unreconstructed nuisance trader who was forever reminding us that he was a millionaire; his hapless brother, nicholas lyndhurst (only 4 foot two in real life but such were his acting abilities he convinced us he was nearly seven foot tall, that's the quality of the man) and good old uncle grandad- how we laughed at them over and over again repeatedly week in week out sometimes daily for 30 long long years laughing again and again over and over without a break or time to gather our thoughts or change our underpants for thirty long long years
there was the one with the candlebras ("not now uncle grandad"), dukey the oversized dog ("not now uncle grandad"), the blow up dolls ("not now uncle grandad") and the christmas specials that cleverly avoided anything christmassy but set them instead during the summer time when they'd go on holiday and derek would be mistaken for derek jason playing another character or nicholas lyndhurst had to pretend to have won a competition ("not now uncle grandad")
then there were all the regulars at the pub, people like the man behind the bar who was also in 'it ain't half hot, man' and looked glad of the work; marlene and joe bugner who had shrivelled testicles that didn't work (how we laughed when derek pointed out they were as useful as jaffa cakes for the act of procreation) and the idiot with the face of a horse ('why the long face?') ("not now uncle grandad") plus nicholas lyndhurst's mates like the one in the neck brace who'd later be in eastenders before the scriptwriters repatriated him or sex case, you know the one with the sex case face and the thin moustache who you'd phone the police about if you saw him hanging round near a school
whatever happened to them?
the classic episode that everyone remembers because it was only on dave last week is the one where derek goes in a wine bar... I'm laughing now...
and then horse face idiot man comes in and derek I think falls over and then stands up and says "not now uncle grandad" and it's not uncle grandad it's horse face idiot man which I think was why it was funny
I like 'pony in my pocket (I've got a sex case in the van)' because I knew a lot of people like derek jason and characters like him and one's he's actually played growing up, my nan for one who looked exactly like him, she used to clean posh people's houses for a living but she never complained, she just got on with it with a smile on her face and a fun size topic in her apron pocket... she wasn't actually my nan, she was a family friend, the lady who came round once a week to clean but I learned a lot from her and she'd be forever forcefeeding me fun sized topics I neither wanted or enjoyed
'I didn't know they even did fun size topics, nan', I'd say, 'and shouldn't it be in some sort of wrapper'
'eat it', she'd say grabbing my jaw and forcing me to swallow, her big rough warm hands often scraping my tender young face skin
it's memories like that that come flooding back whenever I watch an episode... derek jason's face coming at me repeatedly like a hammer in the face forever