They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

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humblebee
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They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by humblebee » Sun Sep 28, 2008 18:05

What the subject line said, really.

They are BRINGING BACK the fucking KRYPTON FACTOR!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7637141.stm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by sweepingthenation » Sun Sep 28, 2008 18:07

"We are taking a brilliant format and bringing it bang up to date with state-of-the-art technology.

"We look forward to getting some brilliant contestants who viewers will really get behind, making it one of the most exciting contests on television."
It's modern ITV. They'll make a complete mess of it.

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by Richard » Sun Sep 28, 2008 18:34

Ah, a load of middle-management types who do a lightweight office team-building exercise assault course, play a disappointing and graphically inept flight simulator, a small futuristic (lots of neon light) jigsaw, followed by a pub quiz. All linked together by Gordon Burns unusual haircut.

The new one will involve loads of oddballs doing a glamourised beep test, playing the Wii, doing a giant futuristic Sudoku, followed by a pub quiz. It'll be hosted by Ant & Dec. They'll also be a Krypton Factor Extra Behind The Scenes on ITV19.

KRAPTON FACTOR!
Last edited by Richard on Sun Sep 28, 2008 18:36, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by islandhopper » Sun Sep 28, 2008 18:35

I want the flight simulator back - with exactly the same graphics. And people falling in the mud obviously.

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by 80sfan » Sun Sep 28, 2008 19:45

i want the memory test round. with the same nonsensical situations, wooden acting and perms.
i just wanted to lick your face

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by tonieee » Sun Sep 28, 2008 20:17

That's nothing compared to what I've just read in the Radio Times. They're bringing back Rentaghost and Worzel Gummidge!!!!!

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by a layer of chips » Sun Sep 28, 2008 20:20

Has anyone seen Gordon Burns lately? He looks like a turtle with late stage cancer.

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by islandhopper » Sun Sep 28, 2008 20:33

It probably won't be him then. So long as they don't bring in Vernon sodding Kaye to present celebrity Krypton Factor.

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by Pardon My Rhythm » Mon Sep 29, 2008 13:46

I'd rather they brought back the Crystal Maze.

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by SophieC » Mon Sep 29, 2008 14:31

weren't spangles shit?

they should bring back the black and white minstrel show, national service and frank bough.

has anyone watched the repeats on bravo? it's the most one paced, dull, pointless thing ever. you win a vase. tony slattery is in all the clips. it cost 9p. they're all financial consultants, financial advisors, finance specialists, or financial finance fincialists.

a 14 year old will give it a surly four second glance and go back to knifecrime 4 on the nintendo deathstar. balls.

nostalgia's well and good but the reality is usually somewhat different to your previous recollections. commodore 64s are all well and good and track and field was great in 1984 but if i had to write a letter on one know i'd have stamped it down to it's component pieces within moments of switching it on.

still it'll be cheap to make. i bet they make it with celebrities ie christopher biggins. joy.
When the people are being beaten with a stick, they are not much happier if it is called 'the People's Stick.'

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by humblebee » Mon Sep 29, 2008 14:37

Shut up, all of you! Shut up, right! It's the Krypton Factor. It's *brilliant!*

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by tubby » Wed Oct 01, 2008 15:28

The Krypton Factor was awesome - I wanted a go on that assault course so bad.

I wish I could remember the music. It sounds like the Airwolf theme in my head and that can't be right.
This is bad comedy.

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by humblebee » Wed Oct 01, 2008 15:35

tubby wrote:The Krypton Factor was awesome - I wanted a go on that assault course so bad.

I wish I could remember the music. It sounds like the Airwolf theme in my head and that can't be right.
Ta-da!



It sounds like Bowser's theme tune in Super Mario Kart.

Oooh... TV Cream...
SUPERLATIVE GREY CELLS weeknight workout, hosted by the unflappable Uncle GORDON BURNS in a quest to find "the UK's superperson". Anyone could enter, so long as you had an IQ of 200-odd and could run a marathon on a wet and windy day in a colour co-ordinated jumpsuit. Contestants were always middle management types - computer analysts, personnel supervisors, recruitment consultants - from middle England, and who were put through rounds in never-changing, uber-strict order:

1) MENTAL AGILITY: "What day is ten days before March 3rd" quizzed Gordon through headphones to aid concentration.

2) RESPONSE: Contestants must land a massive fuck-off expensive piece of aircraft - in a simulator, "thankfully!"

3) OBSERVATION: Everyone sits in chairs and watches a short film, before getting the old SCREEN TEST "what happened then?", "What did he have in his hand?" stuff. Initially these were archive clips, but later became more full-blown specially-staged comedy skits with the likes of TONY SLATTERYand KATE COPSTICK or STEVE COOGAN doing impressions.

4) PHYSICAL AGILITY: Over "a course that demands respect", the contestants try their luck on an adventure playground-style combination of balance beam, tunnel, tarpaulin, climbing net and the obligatory "death slide" finale into (hopefully) a pool of shitty water.

5) INTELLIGENCE: In which the contestants have but a couple of minutes to assemble a fiendishly-complicated perspex model while Gordon provides viewers with whispered asides ("The key to solving the whole puzzle is to start at the bottom")

6) GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Your bog standard buzzer round, only with each contestant in starkly-lit profile for added tension.

Completing the majestic mix was the way everyone got a "Krypton Factor of..." instead of points, and the imperial theme tune by The Art Of Noise.

TV CREAM immortality rating -
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ..."WHO WAS THE KNIGHT ON THE RIGHT OF THE KNIGHT ON THE LEFT OF THE KNIGHT OPPOSITE MORDRED?"
Ah, the whole days I wasted at work on that site...

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by Uncle Ants » Wed Oct 01, 2008 15:40

humblebee wrote:
tubby wrote:The Krypton Factor was awesome - I wanted a go on that assault course so bad.

I wish I could remember the music. It sounds like the Airwolf theme in my head and that can't be right.
Ta-da!



It sounds like Bowser's theme tune in Super Mario Kart.

Oooh... TV Cream...
SUPERLATIVE GREY CELLS weeknight workout, hosted by the unflappable Uncle GORDON BURNS in a quest to find "the UK's superperson". Anyone could enter, so long as you had an IQ of 200-odd and could run a marathon on a wet and windy day in a colour co-ordinated jumpsuit. Contestants were always middle management types - computer analysts, personnel supervisors, recruitment consultants - from middle England, and who were put through rounds in never-changing, uber-strict order:

1) MENTAL AGILITY: "What day is ten days before March 3rd" quizzed Gordon through headphones to aid concentration.

2) RESPONSE: Contestants must land a massive fuck-off expensive piece of aircraft - in a simulator, "thankfully!"

3) OBSERVATION: Everyone sits in chairs and watches a short film, before getting the old SCREEN TEST "what happened then?", "What did he have in his hand?" stuff. Initially these were archive clips, but later became more full-blown specially-staged comedy skits with the likes of TONY SLATTERYand KATE COPSTICK or STEVE COOGAN doing impressions.

4) PHYSICAL AGILITY: Over "a course that demands respect", the contestants try their luck on an adventure playground-style combination of balance beam, tunnel, tarpaulin, climbing net and the obligatory "death slide" finale into (hopefully) a pool of shitty water.

5) INTELLIGENCE: In which the contestants have but a couple of minutes to assemble a fiendishly-complicated perspex model while Gordon provides viewers with whispered asides ("The key to solving the whole puzzle is to start at the bottom")

6) GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Your bog standard buzzer round, only with each contestant in starkly-lit profile for added tension.

Completing the majestic mix was the way everyone got a "Krypton Factor of..." instead of points, and the imperial theme tune by The Art Of Noise.

TV CREAM immortality rating -
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ..."WHO WAS THE KNIGHT ON THE RIGHT OF THE KNIGHT ON THE LEFT OF THE KNIGHT OPPOSITE MORDRED?"
Ah, the whole days I wasted at work on that site...
Rubbish, wasn't it?
In Recordeo Speramus

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by FactCheckinCuz » Wed Oct 01, 2008 15:59

I used to hitch-hike a lot in the 80s, before everybody was a paedo/killer etc. One night I got from Knutsford Services to Corley at he end of the M6. When we stopped to get petrol she put on a Krypton Factor Tracksuit top. I made the mistake of mentioning it and then had an hour long rant from her about how much of a cheat the show was - the others had the questions beforehand!. She won the rehearsal but came fourth in the real recording. I did like it when she referred to the host as 'Gordon Bloody Fucking Shitpissing Burns'.

I'll look forward to the new KF but it's no Masterspy with William Franklin - on that you had to answer questions and peel an orange at the same time. They should bring that back.

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by humblebee » Wed Oct 01, 2008 16:08

FactCheckinCuz wrote:I used to hitch-hike a lot in the 80s, before everybody was a paedo/killer etc. One night I got from Knutsford Services to Corley at he end of the M6. When we stopped to get petrol she put on a Krypton Factor Tracksuit top. I made the mistake of mentioning it and then had an hour long rant from her about how much of a cheat the show was - the others had the questions beforehand!. She won the rehearsal but came fourth in the real recording. I did like it when she referred to the host as 'Gordon Bloody Fucking Shitpissing Burns'.
Pure Anorak gold.

It'd all have been worth it to get a Krypton Factor tracksuit though, surely.

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by FactCheckinCuz » Thu Oct 02, 2008 09:23

It'd all have been worth it to get a Krypton Factor tracksuit though, surely.
It wasn't bad, green at the bottom and navy at he top. It looked like a Le Coq Sportif style design, when it was trendy - i.e. before they did the Spurs kit.

Are you going to apply for the new series?

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by humblebee » Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:18

FactCheckinCuz wrote:Are you going to apply for the new series?
Just the mental image of me on that assault course will already have caused most of Anorak to piss themselves with helpless mirth.

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by islandhopper » Wed Dec 03, 2008 00:20

Calm down everyone. Ben Shephard (him off of GMTV and that) is presenting. Never mind.

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Re: They're bringing back The Krypton Factor!

Post by Mr Bear » Wed Dec 03, 2008 00:26

Is he that buff one who thinks he's good at everything?

I bet Burns is FURIOUS.

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